Just breathe

As you may or may not notice, there's a sizable chunk of my last post missing.
I did something that I didn't think I had to do.  I removed it because it may/did upset people.

Because this is my personal blog, a journal of sorts, I will tell you how I feel about this.

But before I start, let me state that you may not agree with what I think.


I repeat, you may not agree with what I think.


But the beauty of that is, that I shouldn't have to mind, because this is my blog.  I blog for myself.  I write what is on my mind.  I shouldn't have to write with other people in mind, censoring what I feel to cater to the needs of others.  I certainly mean no harm by any words I say, that's not in my nature.  But, when thoughts are coming straight out of your head, often times there isn't enough time to stop, take a look at what you just said, change and omit parts, then publish.  It's not part of my process.

I have never had a real place to express myself.
I can't show how I'm feeling by photographing some local metal band,
I can't tweet my true thoughts in under 140 characters,
I can't update my emotional status and count on someone to like it,

This is the best that I've got.
I never said you have to read/like/agree with anything that I say, that would be being pushy, and I am not a pushy person.  I am a kind-hearted guy who wishes the best for people striving for success, health, happiness, or anything that takes hard work and effort.

I need this.

I don't have any other outlet to say how I actually feel about...anything.  You can't take this away from me, so please don't make me feel like what I'm doing is wrong.  Would you deny an artist his paintbrush? How about taking away Lance Armstrong's bicycle?  Never.  They're tools of their trade.  Well, the keyboard is the tool of my trade at this very moment, and nothing else is this important.

You may find yourself here, just reading for entertainment, a tourist.  By all means, read away.  I hope you enjoy it.  You also may find yourself here reading what I have to say/think because you are generally interested in it.  Thank you.

In this day and age, paper and pen are dead.  What was once written in a journal, is now written in a blog.  I could just write down my feelings, save it as a draft, and never publish.  But that's cowardly.  I'm putting myself out there.  My whole self.  I'm a pretty complicated dude if you really want to get into it, but I would much rather make myself seem simple just so you could relate to me.

I keep considering going a week without a phone or computer.  See how much more stress-free my life would become.


The creative juices aren't flowing tonight, there's too much on my mind.