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The past week has been a little different than most other weeks.  I've started to look at the "bigger picture"; life as a whole instead of just the sum of all its parts.  I need to work on focusing what's important in life and take that as far as I can.

I got promoted to a position of power, which is a first for me.  I won't go into the boring details, but now I have significantly more responsibilities, am in charge of an entire section of employees, and in turn, am also to blame if the performance of the department is not up to standards with my company.  I didn't receive any type of pay raise for this position, although technically I am "Full Time" now, so I would qualify for benefits,

Stock options, health insurance, and 401k.  Stock in an electronics company that will probably be out of business in the near future?  Or health insurance when I can stay on my father's for another...almost decade.  Yup, neither really appeal to me whatsoever.  Maybe that's a naive decision on my part, but I can't see much of a reward, especially in the long run for either one of those choices.

Something that I've noticed about this new position...I don't have any passion for my job anymore.  I do believe it is because of everything that is different from my old part-time position to now.  Before, I didn't take my work all that seriously, but I didn't need to because I was just another part-time sales associate.  I was good at what I did, I knew my shit [unlike most all my coworkers].  Now, I'm forced to take charge, coach sales associates, drive sales, care about numbers, and be cutthroat.  None of which are me, I'd rather hang out and talk to people about electronics and if they wanted to buy anything, great.  If not, so be it.  


This may be a temporary train of though, so I'm not making any rash decisions at the moment, I'm just playing it by ear, however one thought keeps coming to mind.


If you're not happy with something, change it.


That's why I moved to California in the first place, taking steps to becoming a happy person.  That's what I think I want to focus on these days, being happy.  I could step down from my lead position, or I could ride it out for a while longer.  It'll take time for me to make a decision, but I feel the catalyst in any decision I make will be with the intent of enjoying life more.  I'll take 5 less hours a week with the same pay and MUCH less responsibilities.


I'm yawning and my fingers are getting heavy.


I had planned on having an entire second stanza to this post, but tonight, that's not going to happen.  Maybe tomorrow, we'll see.


Better tomorrows.